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The Reel Life: Jellybean Milk edition

10 April 2014

There is a place for dairy and calcium in the American diet. There is also a place for sugary sweets. But when you combine the two, disaster strikes.

Prairie Farms Dairy, based in Carlinville, Ill., apparently has not gotten this message. The company has released "Jellybean Milk" in celebration of Easter, and according to the Riverfront Times, it is downright awful.

First of all, Jellybeans are terrible on they're own. The Reel Life can accept if you have a special place in your heart for the sugary spheres of paste -- sane human beings all over the world convince themselves they like candy corn every year on Halloween, after all (fair warning: video includes some explicit language). But this madness has to stop.

Milk isn't even that good. Low-fat milk is pretty bad. When you combine it with awful candy, it's not going to end well. What has happened to our principles?

Above all, the Reel Life appreciates that Prairie Farms did indeed make this a "low-fat" milk drink. I mean, really, let's have some respect for ourselves when drinking a dairy product that tastes like shoe leather dipped in syrup.

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