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The Reel Life: Think about who you're talking to edition

24 April 2014

Mark Densmore is not the sharpest tool in the shed, one might say.

Densmore was arrested for shoplifting a Georgia Walmart on Monday night, which is already a pretty dumb thing to do. But while he was apprehended by police, the clever thief asked if the officers could take care of his bicycle, which was “very nice and expensive.”

Hmmm … how could a low-life, petty thief somehow have such a pristine bicycle that it was worthy of special police protection? The principles of basic detection would suggest that perhaps the bike was not Densmore’s to begin with.

Alas, the police ran the serial number on the bike and, sure enough, discovered it was reported stolen from a nearby condominium complex a few days earlier.

To recap: A man robbed a Wal Mart, then told the police arresting him to watch after his other stolen goods.

The Reel Life would like to start a methodical slow clap now.

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